"To my grandmother,
Irene.
Thank you for showing me
the most beautiful thing in the world,
unconditional love."
I made a photo book the other week and dedicated it to my grandmother. I used the quote above. Upon showing it to a friend, she asked, "So are you going to show it to your grandmother before or after you get it printed?" Her question caught me off guard and with a puzzled look I said, "i can't." She quickly realized that she had forgotten my grandmother had passed away and apologized for her question. I assured her it was fine. It was, after all.... That little moment, however, stayed on my mind for the rest of the day. It pulled at my heart. I wasn't upset at the question, but more at my answer. "I can't." I can't show my grandmother this book on beauty. I can't sit with her and look through the pages. I can't spend any more time with her. It is a reality that breaks my heart.
But then, I think...I can't, but God can. The Lord of my life and hers gets to share eternity with her. I can sure have joy about that! Instead of choosing sadness, I choose joy. (It is after all what resides deepest in my soul. Sadness, on the other hand is fleeting.) I choose to rejoice over my grandmother's life and where she is now,.....rejoice over the love she gave and received, and rejoice that my life is better because I lived life with her. Praise be to God.
This doesn't mean the pain is gone. It's still there,...but so is beauty.
3 comments:
such a beautiful gift of honoring for your grandmother.... good noticing at that twinge inside of the I can't...... ::::NOW::: keep going:::: Beneath the twinge..... Beneath your faith::: what's beneath your truth???? And yes yes yes sadness is fleeting and so is joy..... It is the embracing of all the emotions which leads us into true soul discovery---- Keep Seeking Beautiful one!!
oh and one more thing:::: not only did you live life with her.... she now lives within YOU!! isn't life MaGiKal!! ;)
Today is one month since my grandmother died, and I have spent a lot of time thinking about her this weekend. I know exactly what you're saying, because I feel it too. Just think, though, you may not be able to show her this book of beauty, but what more Beauty is there to know than what she's seeing right now? :) Keep on, and one day we'll both get to share the greatest beauty and joy of all with our grandmothers.
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